- An Ode
To Rosie
I love you
I do
But please stop
writing
as if
everything
is poetry.
It isn't.
To the woman in the office next door- Please please for the sweet love of all that is holy stop bathing in perfume. You are a traveling mirgaine.
To everyone else- Happy St. Drunkard's Day!! I can say that cause I'm irish ;o) Plans for the evening are as follows:
1. Go to the mall and buy the queerest outfit I can find. And bleach for my hair cause right now its kinda purpley and I'm over it.
2. Go home, eat, make out with the darling girlfriend.
3. Bleach hair, shower, put on uber queer outfit.
4. Make out with the darling girlfriend some more.
5. Apply glitter liberally. Most especially in the cleavage area.
6. Make out with the darling girlfriend some more. Tease her with glittery cleavage.
7. Hit the bars.
8. Make out with the darling girlfriend in public.
9. Drink. Lots. And shake my booty.
10. Let darling girlfriend drive my drunken Irish ass home. Reward her with afformentioned glittery cleavage. And more making out. And stuff.
There ya go, a 10 step program to a full and rewarding St. Patty's Day, sure and begorah!!
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
- The L Stands For Lame
Eh. You'll notice that I've refrained from writing about the new season of the L Word. There's a good reason for that. It sucks.
First off, for the sweet love of god, get rid of the new theme song. No, really. Yeah, I know its by Betty and Betty is a reasonably well known lesbian band, but they kinda suck. Ok, they do suck. And this from a woman obsessed with dyke music.
As for the characters, I have a bit of advice for each of em:
Bette- Shut the fuck up. You don't get to be all "poor me, my lover left me" when you're getting drunk and fucking strangers.
Tina- If you get back with Bette, I will crawl through the screen and smake the shit out of you. And tell your lawyer to keep it in her pants. She's creepy.
Alice- Dana? Really? Really? Eh.
Dana- Lose the fiance.
Jenny- Please stop writing. Please. I beg you.
Shane- What the fuck is with your hair? Lather, rinse, repeat. Fo real. And I get the whole playa thing, really. But hello! DJ girl=hella hot. Random bar dyke was not. And Betty chick? *shudder* Yeah, I know, terribly anti feminist of me to be all who's hot and who's not, but if you're only looking for a lay, what other criteria matters other than physicality? Ug.
The rest of the characters don't really warrant one on one advice. Kit's cool, Ivan is a little psycho and Tonya the fiance is a crazy control freak from hell. There, now you're all caught up.
In the lesbian show I call my life, things are good. My girlfriend is still awesome and still spoiling the hell out of me, even tho we've passed the 6 month mark. Owning a house is awesome. I get to start painting as soon as the weather gets warm. Woot! My friends kick ass and me an the girls are planning to get tattoos to commemorate Duck Day. So, yeah, my life is pretty much rockin. Awsome friends, fantastic woman, hella cool roommate, a great house and cats. I really can't ask for more. Oh, and a trip to Vegas with my mom! Ha! We're goin the end of April. And they say God hates homos. Pfft! I'm about as blessed as they come.