Saturday, January 24, 2004

WOOT! New music update. Leah Zicari sent me a link to her new CD, Pretty on Thursday. Go give a listen. My personal fav is Tasted Like Ice Cream. Very cool song :)

In other news, I finally got off my ass and signed up with live365.com to get the indie radio staion thing going. Was originally going to call it indiegrrl radio, but apparently there's already an indiegrrl website and trademark infringement and yadda yadda yadda. (thanks to Leah for the heads up) So, I am open for suggestions. The station will be dedicated to independant female musicians in all genres. Any ideas?

I'm online chatting with a friend this afternoon, and I get the following email in my personals inbox:
From: Mr. Asshat
To: me
Subject: just about anything mmmmmm

we are a couple and my girl is bi
from McKeesport. Pa want to learn more email me back or IM me.
Thanks Tom and Terri

I respond:
Sorry, I don't do the couple thing.

So Mr. Asshat decides to IM me. Here are some choice excerpts:
Asshat: no I can let you into our photo album and you can check her out I will and will never be involved
me: not my thing.
Asshat: it's a chickie thing
me: I prefer my girls to be boyfriendless, lol
Asshat: ok I understand. But do you want to see her first before you really make that decision?
me: sure
*insert heinous pic viewing here*
me: shes the one in the nipple clamps?
Asshat: yes
Asshat: so not my thing
dinodog1us: we go to Chez Kimberly to and she goes to Lucky Charms by herself
me: I was in chez kimberly the other night
me: also not my thing
Asshat: she wants a girl to take care of her needs and she liked your photo
dykadelic_dream: well Im happy for her, but Im not a service station ya know?
Asshat: she is very professional and needs to explore her sexuality she and I dont have sex she is really wanting a nice pretty girl to hang with and grow with that was all
me: well Im flattered, but I aint that girl
Asshat: ok but just bto let you know 1 last thin she will be at Lucky Charms in the Strip District tonight
me: good for her
Asshat: well she just marched away and into the bathroom I dont know what to do, She thinks she is too pretty and no one will have anything to do with her. I feel really bad for her. let me know bye for now
me: bye

Now, seriously. Does this shit ever work? Are there really lesbians out there that would be all "Oooo, boyfriend AND nipple clamps! I am SO in!" Sweet Jesus. And for the record, she is NO WHERE NEAR drop dead gorgeous. Not even in the realm. And nipple clamps. I mean really.

Friday, January 23, 2004

Well, as I expected, Eth talked me into goin out last night. Not that a whole lot of "talking into" was necessary. So I gots all gussied up and we hit Images round 10ish? Sat in the VIP section and occupied ourselves with the typica peopl watching OMG did you see that guy kinda stuff. Dr. Mike finally shows up maybe 11 11:30. Kyle showed up soon after. Now Kyle needs a bit of describing. He's the door guy at Images. Big burly scary looking straight guy. He's nice if ya know him, but def not someone ya wanna fuck with. Luckily, I'm in the crowd, so he gots my back you know? He comes over and starts talkin with us. Horrible horrible conversations involving him, his fiancee and their sex life. I will spare you the details. And you should thank whatever diety you hold dear that you can't subjected to the hand gestures. *shudder* so, while Kyle is describing his neverending night of lust and debauchery, the karaoke queen gets up and starts singing one of his retch inspiring renditions of popular showtunes. Everyone at the table immediately groans, and Kyle starts bitchin bout this guy and how much he sucks and everyone hates him an blah blah. The word "ban" was mentioned. I jumped right on that bus, lemme tell ya. So I relate the story of the fundraising night and the lesbian comment and Kyle says thats it I'm banning him. Of course Kyle was trashed beyong belief and probably won't even remember that comment, but I'll be sure to remind him when next I see him. Oo, the power of the doorman. Boo ya!

So, as I said, Kyle was trashed, and was getting a lil scary what with the macho manly man "I beat up 3 guys on the way here" kinda talk, so we decide to bolt. To Chez Kimberly, which is the strip joint right across the street. FEMINIST DISCLAIMER: Yes I know that the stripping industry hurts women and I in no way support the idea of womens bodies as a commodity to be bought and sold. That said, I can continue with the story. So we go to Chez Kimberly, which I have been avoiding for months and months for the above stated reason. We go in and no one's dancing. WOOT! So I figure a painless experience right? We get our drinks, I get intro'd to a couple girls that work there, and we sit in front on the main stage thingy. Stupid stupid stupid. Amy starts dancing. Amy is Kyle's fiance. The one whom I have just spent 45 minutes hearing intimate details about. So, she's dancing, and I'm staring at the little plastic menu thingy in front of me. I give Eth my ones to tip her, cuz I feel bad, but I sure as shit wasn't gonna be waving dollars in the air cuz um, ew. I have issues with that. seriously. Ethan, being the lovely guy he is, puts the cash on the little ledge thingy directly in front of me. So now I have stripper crotch like a foot from my face. Still staring at the menu. Amy decides to fuck with me, so she's stuffing money in my cleavage and taking my glasses and rubbing my head and I'm just like get me the fuck out of here. Dr. Mike saved me. Then Kimberly, the owner, comes over and intros herself. I'm like yeah hi I'm Kim, and eth pipes up with "this is THE Kim. The one that won't come here!" Kimberly's all "OH! So why don't ya ever come here?" I briefly consider going into the whole rant regarding the socio-political impact of supporting a system wherein men can buy and sell women like cattle, but figure it'll fall on deaf ears and besides, I'm a little tipsy and socio-political is a big damn word, lol. So I settle for "Just not my thing. I have issues" lol. That seemed to work. So the boys are done with their drinks, I chug the rest of mine, and we go down to Pegs.

Pegs is PACKED. Do the wander, see who's there. See Rob, so I go say hi. Chat a bit, then go find Eth and Dr. Mike. Eth says did you see Boy Terry? I'm like WHAT?!?!? So he points him out, and I book my ass over there an damn near tackle him. So, much bonding with Terry and Dominick. Dom is a bartender at my old bar, the one the ex stole the cash from. I asked him about it, and he was pretty convinced she did it. Said she has a huge coke habit. WTF is up with that? Anyways, Eth an Dr. Mike go to the saloon or Images or wherever, and I stay at Pegs to bond with my Terry some more. Was SO good to see him. I have missed him much. We made plans to go to the Z on Monday. Boo ya! And we're gonna schedule a Kim n Terry night, just the 2 of us. We've never had one o those. So yeah, good night :) Stayed at pegs till close, then met Eth at the car and he drove my drunken ass home. What a guy.

Thursday, January 22, 2004

From an email from Cynde, aka cool rock chick:

"My rant of the night will be on homosexuality as a life choice.

There is no logic, rational or emotional in such utter trash. Gay people are tormented emotionally, denied the basic rights that even murderers and rapists get (marriage anyone?), shunned and shamed, beaten and killed and considered the lowest and most unholy of Gods creatures by many an otherwise 'liberal' person. Yet, I would choose to be this way? Yeah, ok - I want my life to be as hard as I can possibly make it. I want to be a whipping girl for everything that has gone wrong in our society and schools. Yeah - I want the person that I love to be denied the simple peace of knowing that if I am in the hospital she can visit me anytime she wants to. I want that kind of crap! Yeah right. That sounds like a peachy fucking keen life. I can't think of anyone who would choose to live that way. Yeah - anyway - it's so depressing and upsetting and utterly demoralizing to know that who you are is so hated and despised that people who know nothing of you will work their hardest to insure that they never know you - that you never get the dignity to know yourself. I'm not asking to be liked...loved or even understood. All I want is to be able to live my life with the same freedom as anyone else. Is that too much to ask? If I need to be judged let the creator judge me - damnit - S/He made me as I am and if I've somehow warped the design let me take the blame for it. But don't presume to be the mouthpiece for my God. Cuz you have no clue what S/He has said."

Boo-ya girl. Rant on!!

I love Margaret Cho. That is all.

I heard through the grapevine yesterday that my ex has been stealing from the bar she used to work at. Apparently some $1000 or so has gone missing and her security code was the one used to get in. Now, as I said , I heard all this through the grapevine, so I don't know if its true or not. But I'm gonna comment on it anyways :oP
I was surprised by my reaction to this story. I would have assumed my first thought would have been something like "Boo ya! Put the bitch in jail! Neeneer neeneer neeneer Asshat!" Something like that, lol. But actually, it just kind of made me sad. For all her faults, and all the heinous bullshit she put me through, at the core, Krys is a good person. Deluded and apparently not terribly bright, but decent. To see her fuck her life up like that is just kind of depressing. Actually I'm having trouble swallowing the story at all. Theivery doesn't seem like something she'd do. Of course, the cheating and lying and massive head fuck didn't seem to be in her realm either, so there ya go. I'm taking it as a good sign that I didn't go the neener neener route. Maybe I'm starting to forgive her.

Today I thought I'd post a little public service announcement.

Dos and Don'ts of online personals.
We've all been there. Single, bored, looking for Ms. Right. But alas, the bars have been done, the friends of friends pool has been exhausted, and you've already dated everyone on your softball team. What is a lonely queer to do? Go online of course. But first there are a few things you need to know:

Your profile
Your profile is the very first thing your prospective hotties will see. It is single handedly responsible for the all important FIRST IMPRESSION. So take some time with it. Put a little effort in and I promise it will pay off. Here're some tips for the first timer:

1. POST A DAMN PICTURE!!!!!! We have all heard people exclaim "Its not about appearance. I'm attracted to the person, not the package." Yeah, those are the people that are dating the cuties. Face it, physical attraction is an important part of dating. You can not possibly be as ugly as I can imagine you being, so you have nothing to lose by posting a pic. And never, EVER, for ANY reason post a pic of your pet instead of you. That says "yes I do have a digital camera, but I am so excessively unattractive that I'd rather you think of me as canine than see my face." Not a turn on.
2. FILL OUT YOUR PROFILE!!!! I don't need to know the intimate details of your life, but age, location and such are pretty crucial. If you don't take the time to answer a few questions, why the hell should I take the time to email you?
3. USERNAME CHOICE- a very important and oft overlooked aspect of a good profile. Do not choose a username like pussyeater69 unless your profile is for adultfriendfinders or some other site dedicated to cheap and meaningless sex.
4. DESPERATION- I know its hard out there. Sometimes it seems like you'll never find that special someone. Or any someone, lol. But ya can't let them know that. Words and phrases to avoid: "Uhaul", "true love", "willing to relocate", "marriage", "not picky", "emotionally available" and "please please pretty please."
5. YOUR MATCH- Make sure you fill this section out. Be honest, but not too specific. For example "Looking for a woman, 30-40 that enjoys movies and music" will generate a lot more responses than "Looking for a woman 5'6, 140 lbs with blonde hair and blue eyes into pre-1990 rockabilly and movies starring Robin Williams."

Your Responses
Thought this section would best be served by using some real life examples of responses I've received. My commentary is in italics.

The Good:

Hi there,

I liked your profile...I too love music and good conversation and, of course, Buffy. Check out my profile and if you feel like chatting send me a wink and I'll send you my email address (or if your a member feel free to email me).

Simple, straight forward and to the point. AND, she read my profile.

Good morning lady. May I have the pleasure of being charmed by you?

Now, seriously, how could I not respond to this? Granted, not much info, but she did have a pretty in depth profile.

Hi! :)

So, What's up? lol ... Thanks for sending me the 'quick flirt' thing...I've looked at your profile many times and I wonder...what exactly are you doing in your picture? :) Looks like you're having a blast.

Where are you from? Your profile says Export? Where is that? I'm in Oklahoma...big fun here! Yeah - until you go somewhere else and you see the really big fun. Oklahoma is a nice place and I love my house. I love going new places though. I'm in a band and we get to travel a lot so that's cool. You play the guitar? Wish you lived here! We're looking for a guitar player at the moment...Are you in a band or do you just play for fun?

I hate writing that first e-mail...never know what to say...so I just start rambling. I'll tell you a little and hope you write back...

I'm in a band and it's what I live for. I think we'll make it someday...one can always hope. We may not but you have to try right? I've lived in Oklahoma all my life but I've traveled a lot......I'm so glad to have heard from you. :) I hope I hear from you soon...if you have aol im I am ****....talk to you later!

Nother good one here. Has a little info, not long enough to make ya wonder, but long enough to get an idea of personality. Obviously paid attention to my profile and responded with specifics. Very cool.

The Bad:
hi how are u I'm fine

Well I'm just peachy. Do you have a point?

ok..To start off..There is no possible way u are 31..ur look 21..anywayz....ur beautiful i cant believe ur 31 tho....but moving on im SURE im too young for u..but if u wanna chat sum time my yahoo name is blah aim is blah and Msn is blahblah

If you're sure you're too young for me, why the hell are you emailing me? And yeah, I am 31.

hi i'm blah,i'm a 30 year old lesbian.looking to be friends first.i would love to get to know u hunny.my yahoo id is blah u could reach me like that hunny.if your interested.i hope to hear from u.my email is blahblah@blah.com too.

Hi. My name is not hunny. Don't call me hunny. And the space bar is the long skinny one at the bottom.

Hi there,
I think that i meat part of your porfile. But not rellay shore. Hope we can talk more.

Spell check is your friend. Really.

well i'm not sure where export is but ur adorable....i do have a b/f but he's very willing to let me go off on my own as long as it's with a lady know what i mean......write me back :)

Oh yes. I truly want to be your on the side girly plaything. Really. I can't imagine anything that would make my life brighter than dating a girl with a boyfriend. Be still my beating heart.

The Ugly:

I went tru your profile and i was interested in u.i will like to have a taste of u but i dont know how u feel.I will like to have a taste of ur juicy pussy.Dont u think u need to taste mine too.Contact me tru my personal box at,
blahblah@blah.com
I want to no if u are the girl for me

Um, ew. Trust me, I have no interest in your "personal box". And again with the freakin spacebar! HELLO!



Hello, I can't receive mail here please e-mail me at blahblah@blah.com
I love to eat pusssy & have mine eaten as well. If your interested drop me a line.
Can't wait to here from you!

Again with the ew. Little tip- if your email contains the word pussy, and you aren't talking about a cat- ya ain't gonna be hearin from me. Sorry bout your luck.


Last but not least, a word on flirts. Or winks, or roses, or whatever the hell they have on the site you're on. You know what I'm talking bout. They can be handy for those of us that tend to be on the shy side. But don't overdose, k? One will suffice. You really don't need to send 5 freaking flirts to me. And if I don't email ya back, take the hint. Sending me 15 flirts every other freaking day is just gonna irritate me.

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

So I figured new name, new look. Whaddya think?

Many new links to add. I added a permanent link to the glytch website on the sidebar. Go me and my mad HTML skills! Booya!

A HA! I GOT IT! GirlyDyke. Neener neener. Its short, cute and suits me. Boo ya! And props to Rach for coining the term.

Good afternoon! I meant to update the blog first thing this morning, but spent way too much time reading Rach's new blog and laughing silently in my cubicle till I thought my head was gonna pop. I mean I knew she was funny, but damn! lol
So, on to the update. Went to the wing bar last night with Eth and the girls. Eth punked out early, as he was still exausted from his trip to DC. The girls and I stayed out till late. Like way late for a wing night. Didn't get home till 10:30 or so I think. Of course, what the hell do I know, I was drunk. We had many laughs ("I teenk she GAY!!") and much good conversation about family and friends and religion and such. They are way cool chickas, I am very glad I met em.

K, bout this whole new blog name thing. I need suggestions. So far the list of possibilities is as follows:
Sparkly Gargamel
How many licks does it take to make you a slut
You can't eat just one, and
Pubic service announcement

None of which I'm terribly happy with. Tho Sparkly Gargamel makes me chuckle, lol. So help me out. I need some suggestions.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Ok, I'm cranky. I registered the blog with a search engine yesterday and found out that theres already a blog called a work in progress. Which I kind of expected, cuz its not like its that original right? lol. But I figured it'd probably be some hetero blog, not easily confused with this one. Nope. Tis a dyke. So I gotta change the damn name. Again. Grr

Say Anything...


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Now thats comedy!

Monday, January 19, 2004

Da Smouse is in da house!
Dig it, one o my bestest friends just started a blog, so go check it out. To Smouse or not to Smouse. And don't let her fool ya. She dances just fine ;o)

Found the following on Tomato Nation. Had to share ;o)

Yes, You Are
So much for the dress code.

feminism n (1895) 1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes 2 : organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests -- feminist n or adj -- feministic adj

Above, the dictionary definition of feminism -- the entire dictionary definition of feminism. It is quite straightforward and concise. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.

Yes, you are.

The definition of feminism does not ask for two forms of photo ID. It does not care what you look like. It does not care what color skin you have, or whether that skin is clear, or how much you weigh, or what you do with your hair. You can bite your nails, or you can get them done once a week. You can spend two hours on your makeup, or five minutes, or the time it takes to find a Chapstick without any lint sticking to it. You can rock a cord mini, or khakis, or a sari, and you can layer all three. The definition of feminism does not include a mandatory leg-hair check; wax on, wax off, whatever you want. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.

Yes, you are.

The definition of feminism does not mention a membership fee or a graduated tax or "…unless you got your phone turned off by mistake." Rockefellers, the homeless, bad credit, no credit, no problem. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.

Yes, you are.

The definition of feminism does not require a diploma or other proof of graduation. It is not reserved for those who teach women's studies classes, or to those who majored in women's studies, or to those who graduated from college, or to those who graduated from high school, or to those who graduated from Brownie to Girl Scout. It doesn't care if you went to Princeton or the school of hard knocks. You can have a PhD, or a GED, or a degree in mixology, or a library card, or all of the above, or none of the above. You don't have to write a twenty-page paper on Valerie Solanas's use of satire in The S.C.U.M. Manifesto, and if you do write it, you don't have to get better than a C-plus on it. You can really believe math is hard, or you can teach math. You don't have to take a test to get in. You don't have to speak English. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.

Yes, you are.

The definition of feminism is not an insurance policy; it doesn't exclude anyone based on age. It doesn't have a "you must be this tall to ride the ride" sign on it anywhere. It doesn't specify how you get from place to place, so whether you use or a walker or a stroller or a skateboard or a carpool, if you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.

Yes, you are.

The definition of feminism does not tell you how to vote or what to think. You can vote Republican or Libertarian or Socialist or "I like that guy's hair." You can bag voting entirely. You can believe whatever you like about child-care subsidies, drafting women, fiscal accountability, Anita Hill, environmental law, property taxes, Ann Coulter, interventionist politics, soft money, gay marriage, tort reform, decriminalization of marijuana, gun control, affirmative action, and why that pothole at the end of the street still isn't fixed. You can exist wherever on the choice continuum you feel comfortable. You can feel ambivalent about Hillary Clinton. You can like the ERA in theory, but dread getting drafted in practice. The definition does not stipulate any of that. The definition does not stipulate anything at all, except itself. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.

Yes, you are.

The definition of feminism does not judge your lifestyle. You like girls, you like boys, doesn't matter. You eat meat, you don't eat meat, you don't eat meat or dairy, you don't eat fast food, doesn't matter. You can get married, and you can change your name or keep the one your parents gave you, doesn't matter. You can have kids, you can stay home with them or not, you can hate kids, doesn't matter. You can stay a virgin or you can boink everyone in sight, doesn't matter. It's not in the definition. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.

Yes, you are.

Yes. You are. You are a feminist. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist. Period. It's more complicated than that -- of course it is. And yet…it's exactly that simple. It has nothing to do with your sexual preference or your sense of humor or your fashion sense or your charitable donations, or what pronouns you use in official correspondence, or whether you think Andrea Dworkin is full of crap, or how often you read Bust or Ms. -- or, actually, whether you've got a vagina. In the end, it's not about that. It is about political, economic, and social equality of the sexes, and it is about claiming that definition on its own terms, instead of qualifying it because you don't want anyone to think that you don't shave your pits. It is about saying that you are a feminist and just letting the statement sit there, instead of feeling a compulsion to modify it immediately with "but not, you know, that kind of feminist" because you don't want to come off all Angry Girl. It is about understanding that liking Oprah and Chanel doesn't make you a "bad" feminist -- that only "liking" the wage gap makes you a "bad" feminist, because "bad" does not enter into the definition of feminism. It is about knowing that, if folks can't grab a dictionary and see for themselves that the entry for "feminism" doesn't say anything about hating men or chick flicks or any of that crap, it's their problem.

It is about knowing that a woman is the equal of a man in art, at work, and under the law, whether you say it out loud or not -- but for God's sake start saying it out loud already. You are a feminist.

I am a feminist too. Look it up.

©Sarah D. Bunting and Early Girl Inc.

The L Word. Did ya watch it? I did of course. Had the girls over for dinner and we all gathered round the idiot box greatly anticipating a show about lesbians. What a joke. Who the hell were those people? They certainly bear no resemblance to anyone I've ever met. I'm willing to forgive the fact that all the characters are like size 5. I can deal with the lack of flannel and short hair. Really I can. But what the FUCK is up with the threesome? Who thought that was a good idea? I'm pretty sure the writers are lesbians. I refuse to believe that a lesbian wrote that into the plot. Some network big wig must have forced them into that one. Had to have. Seriously. So, we have this commited lesbian couple, entraped in the dreaded lesbian bed death until one night they just bring some random straight boy home and poof, the sex drive just returns? Apparently that wasn't a penis, it was a magic fucking wand. Behold my staff and feel the power of the penis! Fucking PLEASE! Do we not deal with that bullshit enough in real life? "Ooo, you're a lesbian? Can I watch?" "You just need a stiff cock, THAT'll fix ya" and on and on and on. Here's a little info for the L Word clan: the straight male fantasy does NOT need encouraged. They encourage each other quite enough. There is no need for you to "pretty up" what it is to be dyke and present it to them on a silver fucking platter. There is no lack of entertainment for the straight boys. Really. They have enough. WE have the deficiency. You know, LESBIANS. The real kind. The kind that don't sleep with men. Cuz ya know, thats kind of a FUCKING PREREQUISITE! Maybe ya just don't know the definitions. K, Lesbian= woman that has emotional and physical relations with WOMEN. Bisexual: person that had emotional and physical relations with members of either gender, and the whole fucking world knows what straight is, so I won't bother defining it for ya.
So yeah, k, I'll quit bitchin now. I'll give ya 1 more chance. Only because you casted 2 of my favorite actresses. Only this time, try to remember that the L is supposed to stand for Lesbian.

Sunday, January 18, 2004

Just a warning, if ya click the link to the quiz below, you will be bombarded with porn adds.

You are Alcohol!

A little sloppy, a little hungry, and a whole lot horny.

So what if you've had a drunken fling or two with puke still in your hair?

You're the life of the party - well, if you can get invited...



What Drug Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva


Shock.