Saturday, February 14, 2004

You're a lollipop!! You're known for your coolness,
for you are a trend setter. You're a natural
leader, and are good under pressure. People
often seek you out for advice, for you have
great insight.


Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Partial list of search phrases that GirlyDyke popped up for:

Tanya nyc sexy bitch
fella-girly
Kim Martins tits
bi peeps from nyc xanga
sapphic lesbian love between butch dyke pretty girl

I'm specially proud o that last one ;o) lol

As predicted, had a hell of a night last night. In a wake up and say I did WHAT!?!? kinda way. Heh. I know, like thats something new right? So yeah, went downtown round 10ish. Hit Sidekicks first to see if the coat I aquired at Pegs was Bobbys. It wasn't. Then to Images, just in time toi hear the 9 to 5 remix. Boo ya. Kids are there, already drunk. They were pre-drinking, lol. Oh, kids consisted of Eth, Rose an Becca. So I start drinking in earnest cuz who wants to be the only sober one right? We hang at Images for awhile, Rose befriends a random queer guy. Decide to move on, Eth an Becca go to Pegs, rest of us hit the Saloon. Scary people at the Saloon lemme tell ya. I go up to get a beer, and these guys at the end of the bar are all starin an shit. Then they start arguing. I'm not sure what about. All I heard was "I'm TELLIN ya!' and "tits". WTF? I book my ass back to the table, chat a bit, down the beer and bow out. Tell Rose if Eth ditches her, come find me I'll take her home. Trot my happy ass to Pegs. Check my coat. Coat check girl gives me the hey I member you Hi. Looks familiar. I sez hey, go over and fill out a hickey for a raffle. Get my free "What part of lesbian don't you understand" button, then bar an beer. As I sip, it hits me. Coat check girl is Tanya from afterhours last week. Go me and my mad memory skills! So yeah, I'm sippin an here she comes. Shock. We chat, we dance, we make out. Yep, Kimmy's drunk. So that continues for like the rest of the night. Jimmy warned me away. Ryan warned me away. Cute Kevs bonfire boy (Josh maybe?) said whoohoo, go girl, she's awesome. Da hell? Oh, and I met another girl, was friends with the boy hangin with Jimmy. She was cool. Nice eyes. Asked me to dance, but I had just gotten a beer. *pout* So yeah, fast forward to 2:30. Get the boot from Pegs. What is a drunken lesbian to do? TILDEN!!!! So, me, Tanya and her gay boys hit tilden. I finally get my membership, go me. Go up an get a beer. Turn around, some guy with a camera comes up and asks if I want to get my picture taken for the Out. Well HELL YEAH! lol. Get Tanya and one o her boys, park it on a couch and vogue. So yeah, I'm supposed to be in the next Out. I'll have to post the pic when I get it, lol. So, left Tilden bout 3, 3:30. Tanya said she'd call me. We'll see.

Friday, February 13, 2004

Went to 80's night for the first time last night. Oh my. Thats gonna be on the agenda for future thursdays. Kinda of a divey lookin bar, interesting crowd. Straight bar, but least half the peeps there were queer. Many many punky alterna-dykes there. Yeah, so no mega trashed Kim at 80s night cuz I just KNOW I'd get my ass in trouble, lol. So yeah, we started at Sidekicks at 10ish, then 80's night till midnight. Danced pretty much the whole time we were there. OO, and there were breakdancers! Do you know how long its been since I saw someone breakdance? Was so weird. Like flashback to Jr. High, cept this time I'm legal. Soooo much fun!

Left there at midnightish, Eth is already mega trashed. We're blasting Whitney in Dr. Mikes car, singing "Its not right but its ok. Bobby Brown beats me every day...." top o the lungs, windows down, Eth wavin an blowing kisses at peeps we pass. Sweet Jesus. We get to Pegs, I check my coat, stroll through kiddie land to whats the what, hit the bar. Do the bar walk to see who's there, get my ass grabbed by Trashy Jon, run into boy Terry. YAY! Hang with him, he's tellin me bout some cute boy he wants to mack on. Couple o mins later, cute boy walks past, so I decide to follow him. See what his deal is. So I start walkin after him, Terry yellin "KIM, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". Think he thought I was just gonna go up to him and say hey why dodn't ya go make out with my friend over there. Um, no I have more couth than that. A little anyways. lol So cute boy is needin a drink, he goes to the bar and I follow. Hey my beers empty too! So he's there, money out, nother guys there, money out, and some chick is there, money out. Ryan's working. I pull my money out, Ryan comes up says hey baby, Coors Light? Boo ya. Its good to know your bartender ;o) Got some evil looks for that one lemme tell ya. So the cute boy followin is now boring, I go back and find Eth. Oh lord is he trashed. Talking to some girl. I go up, he intros us. "Kim, this is Linsey Straight Girl. Linsey, this is Kim Dyke" LOL So I ask the straight girl whats the fucking deal with all y'all comin to the gay clubs? Hullo. She says people are nicer and she gets more compliments. Well yeah people are nicer, queer folks rock. Duh. So I told her I have no problem with straight girls at Pegs, just think they should wear a damn sign. That ain't askin much is it? Then Eth goes up to this other chick, way hottie, no hi, no whats your name, he just says "you're straight". LMAO She's like "honey I'm queerer than you are". Well hello there! Alas, she's from Wheeling, just got out of a 5 year relationship and was mackin on some other chick 20 mins later. Story of my life, lol.

So Eth leaves, Dr. Mike leaves, I dance with the hot boy I met at Kevs bonfire last summer. Damned if I remember his name. He is so such a cutie tho. We were showin our wares dancin on the step, lol. He was like ooo, all these girls are lookin at you. Yeah, whatever, lol. Theyre like whoa, look at the drunk chick with the freaky hair! So I finally leave round 1, 1:30, go get my coat at the coat check thingy. Guy working says something, all I heard was "Ethan", so I nod figin Eth has left his coat there once again, cuz he does that a lot and I always get it for him. Grab my coat, grab Eth's coat (or so I thought), book my ass to the car. Witness some major drama on the way. Group o straight kids tryin to get in Pegs, one chick is trashed an all cryin cuz she forgot her ID or some shit and they won't let her in. Take a freakin pill. Call Eth to tell him I have his coat. He says um, no I have my coat. So I'm like yeah, Eth's trashed cuz I'm LOOKIN at his coat right? Get home, crash, call Eth this morning. "I have your coat." "Um, no ya don't Kim. I wore my coat to work." Then I remember. Eth didn't even take his damn coat to Pegs. I have some random coat in my car and I have no clue who's it is. Damn coat check boy! LOL So I go out, get the coat, check the pockets. Cell phone. Keys. Wallet. Yeah, somebody was pissed last night. Check the wallet for a name, Eth calls Rodney, apparently its Bobby from sidekicks coat, so Im takin it down tonight. And the fun will start all over again.

Thursday, February 12, 2004

Congrats Phyllis and Del!!!!

In case ya haven't heard, they are the first same sex couple to be officially married in the US.


Is that not the cutest fucking thing you have ever seen? They've been together 51 years and were legally wed this morning at 11:06am. Congratulations ladies! WOOT!

Have I mentioned recently how much I love Margaret Cho? Not in a damn that bitch is funny kinda way, in a MARGARET WILL YOU MARRY ME? kinda way. Fo real, we need to just trot our happy asses on over to Mass and get hitched cuz girl, you da bomb. Now I gotta confess, I'm a bit of a Joanie-come-lately to the phenomenon that is Ms. Margaret. Only recently saw I'm the One That I Want and Notorious C.H.O. (due to the fact that they were scheduled right before and after the L Word, go showtime!). I haven't read her book (but am so gonna buy it), never bought an album, and in short haven't followed her career much at all. Until about a month ago when I came upon a link to Margaret's blog over at One Good Thing. Seems some conservative types got their panties all in a twist bout an incomplete transcript of the MoveOn.org awards that was posted on the drudge report. Heres a little taste o the script for ya:

"I think this last year has just proven how stupid Republicans are." (big applause -- leads into next bullet) * "For example, Judge Roy Moore, or Jay Moore or whatever, in Alabama. [inaudible] ... Ten Commandments statue stay in the lobby of a courthouse. 'You can't move the Word of God! You cannot remove the Franklin Mint edition of the Word of God!' [said in Southern accent] People are protesting there and like, I think it could have been solved so much easier if they had just placed a golden calf next to the statue and then people would have started worshipping that. And then they could have moved the Ten Commandments to Bush's office -- which he needs them, desperately. Or maybe he needs a new version of the Ten Commandments -- George W. Bush's Ten Commandments: Thou shalt not steal...votes. (big applause) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's...country. (big applause) Thou shalt not kill...for oil. (big applause) Thou shalt not take grammar...in vain. (big applause) I mean, whatever fu--ing happened to separation of church and state? I mean, you can't like, impose your god on my god

Now that right there's enough to start a hot n heavy crush, but y'all know me- I am a bitter bitch tainted by the evils o the world in general (and women in particular), so all this got from me was a go girl nod, a grin, and possibly a "damn skippy!"

Fast forward a few weeks, and I come across this blog entry on her site:

We have been threatened by a local conservative group who said they will picket the show unless I am fired and taken off the bill and replaced by someone else. Sorry. I am now more excited than ever to meet y'all. Personally, if you are going to picket a show, fine, but the fact that you are picketing my show, means you are stepping up to me, which means some very bad things could possibly happen to you. Which is why Daisy and Magnolia will be showing up early tonight. We are going to create a human barricade between the alleged protesters and the audience coming to the show, who have purchased the tickets months in advance, who are closing up their shops early to have time to get ready beforehand, who have hired babysitters, who have had their nails done, who have gotten highlights in their bangs, who planned out a whole outfit to wear the night before, and then totally will end up changing their mind and wearing something completely different.

Protesters, please be warned. Fans of my work are not the nicest people in the world. If you are into me, you have been through it. And if you don't know what that means, you just don't know me yet. The great fanbase I have built up over many years in the "business" come to see me with a lot of anticipation, and have a lot invested in what I might have to say. And they can fucking fight. They will throw down in a fucking split second, and really I don't want to see any of you protesters get hurt. Queens do not play. They will fucking kill you. Lesbians know how to throw a punch that will leave a very large bruise, and aren't opposed to kicking protesting men right in the balls. The underrepresented, unvoiced, ignored part of our population, the great many that make up the Cho Army are something you are unaware of, and pretty much the gang not to fuck with. We are the baddest motherfuckers on the block. I don't want to see you protesters get injured, emotionally or physically. I don't want to see a drag queen make you cry. Which will happen, if you actually do show up with picket signs and all your protester accessories.

Warm, warm fuzzies. And then, as I was reading her old blog entries today, I found the pièce de résistance:

The Roman Catholic Church is talking about how condoms don't block AIDS. I don't know what to say about that. And taking the vow of celibacy doesn't prevent pedophilia. What is wrong with them? If they oppose all forms of birth control, then when do we get to actually fuck? Or how do we get to fuck? Do they promote pulling out? Douching with a Coke right after? Only taking it up the ass? So now since the Vatican has issued the health warning about condoms, which they justify is just the same as they have about the hazards of smoking, there has been a major spike in HIV infection, with more than 42 million wrestling with the virus. Okay, condoms are not 100% protection, but 90% is better than nothing, or 'abstinence,' which nobody practices, never did, never will.

The Pope is one press release away from selling indulgences to buy space in heaven, like in the days of Martin Luther - not the King, the father of Lutheranism, Catholicism Lite. I am so angry, I don't want to just rip up a picture of the pope. I want to rip him a new asshole, wearing a condom, and I don't even have a dick, but this is the one time I wish I did. Fuck you John Paul whatever the fuck your fucking name is you fucking gold vestment tall ass hat wearing shit head. Why don't you just fucking die already? Doesn't God need a personal assistant? Fuck Fuck Fuck you. No seriously. Fuck you. You are not God's representative. God would not do that to people. God loves unconditionally. All are welcome in the true House of God. We need Angry Jesus to storm the Vatican right now, kicking out the money changers and the temple prostitutes and the child molesters. I love me some Angry Ass Jesus. Make your own loaves and fishes muthafucka! Get out of my Father's house!!! I want Jesus to evict your ass, throw all the millions of dollars worth of sacred art and gold and relics and Liberace style robes bought with the blood of the countless believers who give you everything and more so that they will be saved, and you do nothing but let them die, condemn them, judge them, molest them, kill them. I want the Vatican front lawn littered with the garage sale of the Judas Iscariot of the world, which would amount to much more than thirty pieces of silver, and to give the money to the people who are dying of AIDS because of you, the children who have had their innocence stolen by you, the innumerable crimes you have committed against the people in the name of God. We are made in the image of God, we are fucking GOD!!!! You don't know Him. You just front like you are God are down and shit, but you don't have His pager number. You don't two-way message Him. If you did, you would care about the people that believe in you, you would treat them like you worship them, because we are all GOD!!!!! GOD is nice. God wants you to wear condoms. God wants you to have fun. God loves everyone. He doesn't care what you do. He is going to love you no matter what. God also has many names, like Buddha, Vishnu, Allah, Mohammed, Jehovah, Beyonce, you. Don't listen to the Vatican. They don't know shit and should just have a fucking bake sale and shut the fuck up.

*sigh* How could I possibly resist? I have fallen for the Notorious one. So, Margaret, if you're out there, think bout my proposal. We can elope after your Pittsburgh show on the 13th. I'll be the one with the green hair, cheesy grin and come hither eyes ;o)

Ooooo, its THURSDAY! Woot woot! No more work for me this week! Well, except for the... 8 an half hours I have left of today. Heh. Goin downtown tonight. And tomorrow night. Tomorrow is gonna be one o those nights I think, lol. The kind where I blog the next day and say things like "well, from what I remember" and "things got a little foggy" lol. Eth, Rose an Becca are all supposed to be goin out. Awww yeah. I'm assuming the Tilden party isn't till next weekend. If its Sat I'm gonna miss it. Which probably isn't a bad thing. All you can drink for $30 could be quite the dangerous prospect with me an Eth, lol. Well at least I know we'd get our moneys worth :oP

Aw damn. I just remembered tomorrow is Jiggers night too. Oh lordy. I gotta remember to take a pen so as to record all the good quotes, lol. Still gotta get me an Eth's site up and running, and gonna start working on a site with the girls. Plus the station. All the while maintaining my status as the queer bois favorite stylish mega dyke, lol. Something is gonna have to give eventually. S'aight tho. A busy Kim is a happy Kim ;o)

Speaking of the station site, got some more work done on it last night. Not much but a little. I WILL have it all up and running by the end of the weekend. Damnit. Haven't gotten any CDs this week. Hullo! Can't play your stuff if ya don't send it. Oh, speaking of sending, Leah rocks my world. I haven't gotten around to emailin her a thanks cuz I'm an ass, but HEY LEAH!! YOU ROCK! Thanks so much for the CD an sticker an info an all :o) I'll email ya a link to your page on the site soon as I get it up and running. Which will be this weekend. Damnit. lol Oh, what timing. Just as I was typing the heartfelt thank you, Leah's song Deadly Sin came on. Her CD seriously rocks, y'all should go get yourself a copy ASAP. K, nuff procrastination for now, off to get some work done.

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Nother one
Yeah, I know, no one cares. But they're fun.

1. FIRST NAME: Kim

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE: No

3. DO YOU WISH ON STARS: No

4. WHICH FINGER IS YOUR FAVORITE: I'll give ya one guess. LOL

5. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY: Don't remember.

6. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING: Nope, it sucks

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT: Salami

8. ANY BAD HABITS: Too many to list

9. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF: I don't think any of them embarrass me

10. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU: Damn skippy! I be cool!

11. ARE YOU A DAREDEVIL: not hardly

12. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL: Probably

13. DO LOOKS MATTER: Yep, they kinda do.

14. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER: Music. The loud bitter kind. Or Fuck it by Eamon. Depends on what pissed me off.

15. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME: Mom's I guess

16. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY: Depends

17. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD: Weeble wobbles

18. WHAT CLASS IN SCHOOL DO YOU THINK IS TOTALLY USELESS: Gym

19. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL: a few

20. DO YOU USE SARCASM: Would I do that?

21. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT: Yes

22. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY: a vagina

23. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES: Kimmy, Kimmer, Kim Jo, Kimber, Miss Stanley (if youre nasty! lol)

24. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP: No

25. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF: No

26. DO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE STRONG: physically no. Emotionally, yeah I guess

27. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR: Chubby Hubby

28. SHOE SIZE: 8

29. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS: Yellow.

30. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE: None

31. WHO DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW: I miss Buffy! *pout*

32. THERE WAS NO #32 ORIGINALLY. DOES THIS STRESS YOU OUT? No

33. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: Me'shell Ndegeocello - Fool of Me

34. LAST THING YOU ATE: Egg salad sammich an munchos. OO how healthy!

35. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE: Ethan

36. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX: that they're of the opposite sex?

38. HOW ARE YOU TODAY: Peachy keen, thanks fer askin

39. FAVORITE DRINK: Diet Pepsi

40. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Coors Light/ SoCo an coke. depends on my mood ;o)

41. FAVORITE SPORTS: football I guess

42. HAIR COLOR: Bleached

43. EYE COLOR: Brown

44. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS: No

45. SIBLINGS: don't ask

46. FAVORITE MONTH: One that doesn't freeze my ass off.

47. FAVORITE FOOD: don't have a fav

48. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED: Radio

49. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR: New years eve

50. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT: Usually. Sometimes. Wait, am I drunk at the time? lol

51. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS: This isn't an either/or question! You can have scary movies with happy endings!

52. SUMMER OR WINTER: Anything but winter

53. HUGS OR KISSES: both. duh.

54. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS: No more one nights for me, thanks

57. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING: none currently

58. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD: My mouse

59. FAVORITE BOARD GAME: Trivial Pursuit

60. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT: I didn't. I slept.

61. FAVORITE SMELLS: Fresh coffee. Rain.

62. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP: I don't WANNA go to work!

Still Hope

Saw the article on the gay wedding debate on yahoo this morning and decided to do a little search on our good friend Fred Phelps. For those of you who aren't familiar with this amazing piece of humanity, he's a pastor from Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas. He's the one responsible for the protests at Mathew Shepard's funeral, has campaigned in 10 cities for the placement of homophobic monuments in public parks, and actually protested my wedding. (Nah, I'm not all that special, I got married at the mass wedding in DC in 2000). Anyways, I did a little search on him to see what he's up to, figuring that oughta get my blood boiling enough to work up a damn good rant. I haven't had one o those lately. Imagine my surprise when I found myself actually smiling while reading the search results. The following is a letter written by Fred's son Mark in 1993, as reported by CJonline.com:

"Many people have been asking me, over the past several weeks, about my father. They want to know what I think about him and 'What is he really like?' People's interest in what I think baffles me, but after careful consideration, I decided to respond.

What is he like? Well, it's been 19 years since I left home, but his behavior still appears to be the same. He considers his environment to be against him without admitting, acknowledging or taking responsibility for how he contributes to that. He likes to show himself as being moral, pro-family, pro-Bible, but his actions just don't add up to that. I believe in God and the Bible, and my father's behavior doesn't fit the description of behavior that would show in the life of one who loves God; behavior characteristics such as Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-control. Instead, my father's behavior characterizes, I believe, Hate, Outbursts of Wrath, Contention, Jealousy, Vengefulness, Misery, Harshness, and Selfish ambition. He mis-states the truth about his own behavior, about others, about the Bible, with apparent ease and regularity. He behaves with a viciousness the likes of which I have never seen. He accepts no genuine accountability in his life and is subject to no one. His lifestyle betrays the sacred trust of what a pastor, husband, father and grandfather should be. I suppose if a comparison were made between the life of Jesus Christ and my father, there would not be much to compare.

I also realize that my father is a very unstable person who is determined to hurt people. And because he is so bound to be hateful and hurtful, and because he's so untrustworthy, I believe it's a good idea to respond to him with caution much like the caution used when dealing with a rattlesnake or a mad dog. You see, the causes that he crusades for, including the Bible, are not the issue here. He simply wants to hate and to have a forum for his hate. If the causes he focuses on were the issue, that is, if they really meant something to him in his heart and he meant for the things he does to be for the good, his behavior would not be what it is. He would not betray his message with his behavior. But, when he needs to, to vent his hate, he readily goes outside the bounds of any previously stated 'value' or 'cause' he may have supported. He experiences no moral dilemma when it comes to doing what he wants to do. If it weren't the homosexuals, it would be something else.

Yet checks and balances on his behavior are appropriate, on the part of the community, in order to at least confine his destructive behaviors and to limit his influence. I believe that Topekans are making a good effort to try and stop him and should continue to do so. He can seem very intimidating. He can use foul language and come across with a booming voice to the community, but the truth is, like the Wizard of Oz, when Toto pulls the curtain back, instead of this big powerful individual, it's only a small, pathetic old man.

I feel sorry for my father as I would for anyone who displays this kind of hate and evil viciousness. These can only be the manifestations of tortured, injured and agonizing souls."

-- Mark W. Phelps

Way to go Mark. You da man.

So much for the happy Kim. Today I be pissed off! First off, Clark is dropping out of the running. And now I hear Kerry might support that asshat amendment.
Here's a little quote from the Kerry article:

Kerry was asked: "I'd like to turn to the subject of gay marriage. The highest court in your home state of Massachusetts has said that same-sex couples do have the right to marry. I know you've said that you oppose gay marriage, but would you support a constitutional amendment that would define marriage as a heterosexual union?"

He replied: "Well, it depends entirely on the language of whether it permits civil union and partnership or not. I'm for civil union. I'm for partnership rights.

"I think what ought to condition this debate is not the term marriage as much as the rights that people are afforded," Kerry continued. "Obviously under the Constitution of the United States you need equal protection under the law. And I think equal protection means the rights that go with it. I think the word marriage kind of gets in the way of the whole debate, to be honest with you, because marriage to many people is obviously what is sanctified by a church. It's sacramental. Or by a synagogue or by a mosque or by whatever religious connotation it has. Clearly there's a separation of church and state here. ... Marriage is a separate institution. I think marriage is under the church, between a man and a woman, and I think there's a separate meaning to it."

Fine. Wanna call marriage a religious institution, I am all for it. Whoo fuckin hoo. But can I just remind you of a wee little part of the constitution that mandates SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE? Civil union for queers? Cool. But ya BEST be sayin that ALL legal romantic partnerships are civil unions. Best be erasing the term "marriage" from the legal system all together. Separate is NOT equal in the US. I know it, you know it, and our history has proven it. Which is why the Mass court said that civil unions wouldn't uphold their ruling. When are we going to get a Democratic candidate with the guts to stand up to the right? Is there no one out there that has the balls to look Bush in the eye and say "You're a fucking moron, a zealot, and a threat to freedom and democracy. And I am gonna whoop your ass." Cuz lemme tell ya my friends, thats the candidate that'd get my vote.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Well, my cherry's been busted. GirlyDyke has been found for the first time ever, by someone doing a nookie related google search. Specifically the term "G spot position" lol. Poor guy. Being the curious dyke I am, I click on the little search link to see why the hell it would pull up my site. I have used the term G spot, not not in a position kinda way, if ya dig. So I click and it takes me to Google. But not my google, some foreign google. Veeedddy intadesting... I scroll down through the links to sex toy shops and porn sites, and yup, there it is. GirlyDyke. Ranked 5th. I don't know if y'all know this, but you do a search that pops up girlydyke, the little blurb you get is the "not butch... not femme..." thing at the top of the page cuz, well, thats the way I set it up. But apparently if it pops up in whateverthehell country this particular search originated in, the blurb reads as such: "by electronicoffee Username Sexuality Favorite Postion you like to be ridden Secret Fetish light masochism [take] Age of Lost ... Goin to hit the G Spot tonight. ... " Who knew I was such a kink fiend? lol. You'd think I'd be gettin more action!

Well what da hell? I go to blogger.com for my semi-daily update on the status of my life in general, type in my password and username, hit the button, and..... nadda damn thing happens. The screen blinks. Strange me thinks, I coulda SWORE I just typed my shit in them lil empty boxes. Huh, musta hallucinated. So, typey typey I go again. Screen blink. WTF? TYPEY TYPEY! screen blink. LISTEN MUTHA FUCKA DO NOT PISS ME OFF I'M IN A GODDAMN GOOD MOOD!!!!! TYPEY FUCKIN TYPEY! Poof, I'm in. Amazing what a few choice words can do.

On to the update. I am in a rockin sockin helluva good mood today. Like a sun is shinin, birds are singin, all is good in the world kinda mood. Yeah yeah, I know, the world is still screwed, but shut da hell and lemme enjoy my groove yo. I will deal with the fuckedupedness that is reality tomorrow. Today I'm just gonna coast. Have spent the majority of my day thus far sitting at my desk (actually doin work, no lie) and listening to the station. Got more replies from the CDbaby emails today. Can I get a woot woot! So that brings the grand total to 6 so far. Considering I only sent maybe 20 emails, and 3 got bounced back, thats pretty damn good. 35% success rate. Boo ya! The station has been listened to 45 hours in the last 30 days. Which is actually wrong cuz it's only been on the air a couple weeks. AND, I just checked and I ain't the only one listening right now. Someone out there somewhere is groovin along with me to tunes hand picked by yours truly. How fuckin cool is THAT?

Kinda funny listening at work. I'll just be jammin along, payin no mind to anything other than the tunes I'm hearin and the work I'm doin, and all of a sudden I realize Alix Olson is on and "If its dick you're after darlin, try my top dresser drawer" just blared out of my speakers unheeded and I do a D'OH, fumble for the volume and snicker. Wonder what the cubicle next door thinks of me? Heh. Its one thing to work with a dyke, tis another all together to be unwillingly subjected to talk of strap ons and what not. Ah well, fuck him if he can't take a joke. I am unwilling subjected to "grow your penis" spam and porn ads on a damn near hourly basis. If ya can't take a little strap on reference TFB. Cope.

Monday, February 09, 2004

Kissing Hank's Ass- a truly inspirational story.

Ick. Its the dreaded Monday afternoon slump. I am so in need of a nap. Actually I'm not doing all THAT bad, considering I was up till 2am. Was all shades of wide awake soon as the alarm went off this morning. Bounded outa bed, showered n'at, made it to work on time and everything. I'm amazing! lol Was doing great, all energized, till bout 2. Now I'm noddin in a big big way. Have bout an hour to burn while I wait for the plate bath to get up to temp so I can actually get some work done. Eth's gone, Smouse called off, and Rach is busy. So I'm all on my own. Icks, hate that. lol I am attempting to resist the draw of Ebay.... must.. not... Ebay.... oh, who the hell am I kiddin? lol

I'm a happy fella-girlie, la la la la la
Can someone please explain to me why some lesbians feel so compelled to slap a label on everyone? Is it really that hard to wrap your tiny mind around the concept that some people just don't fit in your little cookie cutter categories? I was online last night, happily chatting away, and I get one of those oo, lucky you someone responded to your personal ad emails. So I go check it out, expecting either a flirt (boring) or some variation of the juicy pussy email. What I did not expect was a complete stranger to attempt to define me based on 1 picture and a brief bio. Here's a transcript of the brief email conversation we had:

uncomprehending asshat: you are not old fashioned you are a butch.I have seen you before.
Me:Ya have have ya? And youre basing your assumptions on what exactly?
Asshat:well just take a long look at yourself
Me: Call me crazy, but I think I know myself a hell of alot better than you do. Keep your labels to yourself, they don't interest me.
Asshat:you did that to yourself not me .you are still a butch and allways will be.no good can come from you but sorrow.you act like a man talk like man walk like a man dress like a man and most likely drink like one and curse like one.
Me:You must have a sad pathetic life to be spendin time trying to define a complete stranger based on a freakin profile. Think what ya will, your opinion means nothing to me. Oh, and for the record, I blocked ya. Get a life.

Now it should be noted that nowhere in my profile do I say anything about butch or femme or any damn thing of the sort. So I'm a little unsure as to what the hell triggered the asshat to comment in the first place. But lets take a closer look at it anyways, shall we? First off, if you had seen me, you'd know I'm not butch. Second, I do look at myself. Often. What can I say, I'm vain, lol. And on to the third response. "No good can come from you but sorrow"? *snort* Mkay. Aight. I'll just let that one go. Cuz well, its just kinda dumb now isn't it? And the actin/dressin/talkin/etc like a man? Nah. I act like Kim. I piss sittin down. I don't adjust an imaginary package. (I actually know a woman that does that. And I'm pretty sure she's not packing. Very unsettling, lol). I do drink and curse, true nuff. But I know plenty of women that do that. Pretty sure saying "fuck you, you closed minded moronic piece of asshat" is not a gendered action, lol.
Now, do I have the capacity to be butch? Damn skippy. Got me my big dykey Doc martins, a closet full o flannel, and have been known to use a power tool or 2. But I also have the capacity to get all girlified in full makeup and a push up bra. In the immortal words of Elvira Kurt, "I'm not really butch, tho I do have my butch tendancies. Not really femme, tho I do have my femme qualities. I'm what I like to call... fellagirly. I'm a happy fellagirly la la la la la!"

Sunday, February 08, 2004

Oy vey. Just got up oh.... half hour ago? Was up till the light o day chattin. Yeah yeah, whatever, its fun :oP Sippin coffee and tryin to get the energy to clean my damn house. My week of drunken debauchery has left it in a shambles. And I got to do laundry, cuz all my cute cleavage showin clubbin shirts are dirty. Can't have that now can I? Slight aside- I may or may not have mentioned that Mike was chattin with the door girl from Images Wed night when I left. He was diggin info for me (unasked, btw) cuz I mentioned she was cute. He gave me the report Friday. Um, yeah, she's 18. Don't know why that popped in my head. So, anyways, yeah apparently I am a Chester. Well, not all THAT Chester I guess since my response was "Oh HELL no!" when encouraged to chat her up. Hell-fuckin-o, I'm 31. What the hell could I possibly have in common with an 18 year old? I think she's the chick that plays guitar there, so I am gonna talk to her bout gettin some songs for the station. But will be all shades o proffessional. What the hell is with this town and its over population of dykes under 25? Blah.
So, anyways, on to bigger and better topics. Started workin on the station website this weekend. Think its comin along ok. I'm no where near a good web designer, but think I'm doin ok so far. Went on CDbaby.com and emailed a bunch o lesbian artists bout gettin songs for the site. Only 1 response so far. Course I emailed em at like midnight last night, so wouldn't expect to hear back from too many yet. This week will be dedicated to gettin the site up to snuff. No more clubbin 4 nights a week, lol. Maybe 3. But at least thats not a majority, so I won't feel quite so guilty, lol. Actually this week shouldn't be too bad, provided Terry gets a hold o me. Talked to him a bit last night on AIM. He was telling me thats he's worried bout Krys. Yeah, well I'm worried bout her too, but not a damn thing I can do about it. Wish she'd just move the fuck away so I didn't have to hear bout her all the damn time. Um hullo, ya bitched bout PA like the whole time we were together. If Cali is so freakin awesome, go back already. I know, I know, bitter much? Yeah. I am. lol Anyways, nuff with the procrastination. Off to tackle the housework an such.